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One Big Fall...

Deviating from the regular article structure of this column, I thought of writing a story instead. And true to the name of my column, it is based on a relationship;the one that develops when u try to do the act of a postman or the stage-setter and then things go haywire. This is one sure "formula" or "trap" as you might say, that works 80% of the times. The following is one such story.
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Little did Rashmi know that her philanthropist and magnanimous self in general, and her fierce loyalty for her friend Raj in specific could lead to this...


February 2004. The reticent by nature Raj, knew, things would never be the same again the first time he set his eyes on Pooja. He did things he never knew he was capable of. Those furtive glances he stole at her and the strange tugging at his heart. And before he knew it, he was in the middle of it. Insanely in love.

But then, he had heard it plenty of times before. Unprofessed love is nothing but a failure. And that gave him nightmares;the act of professing and the thoughts of failure.

Till date, Raj had never discussed anything beyond Linux, C++, .Net and J2EE with females and that too only with females who had the fortune of being his colleague. He had this acute fear of communication with the opposite gender. And discussing about things as abstract as feelings and emotions was something beyond his capacity. He could see things leading to nowhere. He felt
lost and despondent.

Enter Rashmi. The one person, where "friend" came before "female". They were friends for 3 years now. She could sense the change in his disposition, but waited for him to tell her. He did. All about how he never believed in "love at first sight" and how he fell victim to his disbelief. How he was scared that he would never be able to talk to Pooja and that his love story would end before it could begin.

She heard patiently. This was a new facet of Raj she had never known of. She thought it to be a queer passing phase. How can someone be in love with a person he hasn't known? But then, the vehemence of his emotions, whenever he talked to her about his plight, did begin to convince her.

For Raj, Rashmi was the sole person who he could open his heart to. By telling her about those queer tuggings at his heart whenever he saw Pooja, he seemed to double his joy. And by telling her about his deepest fears, he felt much relieved. For Rashmi, Raj was the new catalyst to her helpful instincts. She knew that she alone could get things working for him and that gave her a new purpose in life. And of course, she wanted her friend to be happy.

That was perfect symbiosis. They never realised it, but Raj's "fall", helped in strengthening their friendship all the more. They would speak for hours on the end and not get tired. When Raj suffered his sleepless nights he knew where to direct his messages to. And she never failed him. She took care of him as her child. And they never realised, that they got closer to each other than never before. No expectations, and yet, lots of expectations!

It was time she did something, Rashmi thought. And she did. The extremely outgoing person she was, it took her 5 minutes to befriend Pooja. She found her a nice person apart from being exquisitely beautiful. She was happy for Raj's choice.

And then those tricks she was expert at playing - like walking into the coffee parlour with Raj where she was sure to find Pooja, making it appear as a coincidence and taking the opportunity to introduce the two. Then, shooting a mail from his id(of course, with his full permission!) telling Pooja that it was nice meeting her. Then, those mails back and forth. That subtle tone of "interest", that Raj found really ingenuous and Pooja never suspected to be coming from a female! This went on for days and the vibes were just fine. The stage all set, Rashmi shooted the final mail(as Raj's proxy) inviting Pooja to coffee, and much to their relief, she agreed.

Rashmi had finally given him the start she had promised to herself and was now happy at her achievement. Raj didnt know what he was more - thankful or elated! Things were finally looking up. And he now had direction.

With Raj gone out to do his part, Rashmi sat down with a novel. Her deed was done. She was happy. Was she? That was a strange question she asked herself. Of course she was! She tried to convince herself. But then what was that huge void that gripped her and was gnawing at her heart. She tried to shrug off that feeling. But it came back. Repeatedly.

Raj came back all wrapped in smiles. He told Rashmi that if it had not been for her, he would have never been able to talk to the love of his life. And then, the tales about his conversation at the coffee table. And how he had "fallen" all the more after talking to Pooja.

Rashmi smiled. She was happy. Was she? The same question that came to her and she pushed aside. But failed.

Raj's love life was progressing fast. Coffee, dinner, movies;Raj and Pooja. Raj found his happiness in Pooja. He wanted to be happy that way for always. She understood him perfectly well. She wanted the same. They were now a self confessed couple.

And without him realising it, it had already been days he had talked to Rashmi. And without him realising it, he didn't need Rashmi anymore. She was a friend like always. He slept well and in peace. And when he didnt, it was the "sweet nothings" with his lover on the cell. He did find time for a "hi" and "all's going well; can't stop thanking you" whenever he felt guilty of not doing justice to his friendship.

For Rashmi, it was staring at a silent cell on a sleepless night;the same cell that she had cursed once upon a time for buzzing incessantly. It was a huge, huge void. And she had finally found the answer to the question that came back to her all the time. She knew now, she was NOT happy. In the process of helping Raj, she got used to him like never before. She missed those talks with him and this huge nothingness gripped her imagination whenever she realised that there was someone else in his life whose position she had herself ensconsed. She realised that she indeed wanted her friend to be happy but not at the cost of her being sad. She realised that without her knowing it, she had once loved the importance she had in Raj's life which she badly missed now. She realised that she had loved to be his only friend which was now no more. She realised that she was in love with him, only when it was a little too late. And it was one big fall.


- arundhoti banerjee

4 Comments:

At 1:05 AM, Blogger Anoop Joseph Babu said...

Read your posts.. good ones but the topics eventually tunnelling to the same theme.Just my views
Regards,
Anoop

 
At 3:15 AM, Blogger sumandatta said...

true...but no fault of hers actually...the editor(me) of this mag(VIBEindia) had asked her to write on the theme of m-f relationships...but then as she often argues too, its a bit repetitive..so i hav decided to giv her a free hand...expect to see lots of interesting stuff here from now on...

 
At 11:46 PM, Blogger arundhoti said...

that is what this space is for..."this" theme!:-)
anyways, i guess the Ed hasn't left a stone unturned in trying to do the clarifications on my behalf.
And well since my arguments have bore fruit, u can look forward to some new theme too!:-)

 
At 10:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow! that was simple & nice.do u seriosly think ths formula wud work?

 

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