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relativity

relativity


To Sir With Love

Ask your boyfriend over your first date about his first ever crush and the answer , inevitably, is his charming teacher of English ( or whatever subject!) while he was in the fourth standard!... and such statistics definitely don't pertain to the male bastion alone.


This seemingly innocent attachment has long been the psychologist's favourite subject of study. They have for long tried to elaborate on our current understanding of the social contexts of education by synthesising research on the nature and influence of relationships between students and teachers from the attachment, motivational and socio-cultural perspectives. But even after much elucidation, the “subject” remains an enigma...


When a student enters the school premises for the first time, a whole new world unfolds before him where the people in command are the so called "teachers". They are the "know-all" beings who shape his thinking and he holds them in awe. And then there is one amongst them who is exceedingly beautiful and who smiles and asks him his name. The awe is immediately transformed into admiration and that heralds the beginning of an attachment that is subsequently termed as a "crush". The student craves for “the” teacher to smile at him again, and goes to great lengths to achieve that end by trying to impress the teacher. Even a hated subject comes alive and grades rise exponentially in that particular subject. This “childhood” admiration is as simple as it sounds and yet, unforgettable.


So, how do I explain the excessive adoration I had for my teacher of "Network Analysis" in college? I wasn't a wide-eyed-child anymore and have had my share of boyfriends and stuff. Still I was irresistibly drawn to this particular teacher. This ensured "sleeping beauty" would wake up with a start every Tuesday and Thursday mornings to attend “his” classes at 7am!... devote her entire study hours to one subject alone and diligently complete all her assignments on this one subject ( despite the repeated reminders and warnings from other teachers!)... be the very first to solve every problem in class... scoring nothing less than the "full marks"... and all this, for one statement of appreciation that, sadly, never came ... which was all the more reason to “fall” for him.


Since looking up the meaning of "crush" in the dictionary ( which calls it "an usually temporary infatuation" ), associating that word to what I felt for my teacher is anathema to me. It was more an overt exaggerated emotion of adoration and respect for an individual. It was coveting being taught by someone whose immense grip over the subject moved me to admire him. And for all of that what i am left with finally is a bunch of good scores and of course, a story to reminisce.


So, what is this "crush over a teacher" thing?


Its more a realisation of the position of power that the teacher, having a great command over the subject, wields over you who is desperately trying to decipher it. Its more an attempt to match his prowess at the subject in question. Its more a need for a word of encouragement and appreciation towards this end, an adoration for his knowledge and his endeavour to share his knowledge. But since such constituents are intangible and we by nature perceive only the visible, what emerges is a relationship shrouded in a fuzzy word called "crush".


Crush stories and student-teacher relationships have for long provided the recipe for successful film-scripts and plots for bestsellers. Take for example the recent flick "Main Hoon Na" where Shahrukh is swept off his feet by his gorgeous chemistry teacher and croons for her till it all ends in a and-they-lived-happily-ever-after love story. In stark contrast is the Booker Prize winning novel "Disgrace" by J.M Coetzee that explores the nuances of a student-teacher relationship gone sour.


Whatever it is, a liking for your teacher is the most natural thing to happen! And if it is more than a liking, pride yourself! You have a story that will last you a lifetime.

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